Those who know me and interact with me on a regular basis will tell you that I typically greet others with a smile and tend to look for the positive in most situations. I must admit, though, that even I have faced some circumstances that made it very difficult to maintain my usually-calm demeanor. Like most of you who are reading this post, I have made it through some very difficult situations, like the end of my first marriage; difficulty conceiving a child; being laid off from work in 2009 during the recession and unemployed for seven (7) months; the loss of my Stepfather and my Paternal Grandmother within one and a half weeks of each other; a roll-over crash; and my Father’s debilitating illness. I know that many of you can relate and agree that life can throw some serious curve balls at times. In spite of my immediate circumstances I force myself to think about the many blessings that I am still enjoying, even in the midst of my trials, as difficult as they may be. For example, even though my first marriage ended, God blessed me later with a better marriage to a man who has a strong spiritual life. Our prayer life and faith were much needed during the two-plus years that we tried unsuccessfully to conceive, but I am happy to say that at the age of thirty-nine and 11 months, just when I was about to give up, and told God that I was going to stop worrying about it, I got the welcomed news that I was expecting. Eight (8) months later we welcomed a healthy baby boy into the world. I remember when both my Stepfather and my Paternal Grandmother were on their death beds in the same hospital it seemed like the end of the world…almost too much to bare. Not only was I grieving, but I was also worried about my Mother’s well-being with the prospect of losing her husband of nineteen and a half years, and truly her best friend of more than twenty- three years. I was also worried about my Father, who was single again and facing the prospect of losing his Mother with whom he was very close. You what, though, both of my parents reminded us of how much of a blessing it was to have had both individuals in our lives, their respective relationships with God, and the awesome memories they left in our hearts and, most of all, that neither would have wanted to remain here on earth suffering. When I fell asleep behind the wheel trying to get to my childhood home to see my Father, my husband, our only child, and my Brother’s and Sister-in-Law’s only child, at the time, were in the vehicle with me. My husband and I had both been working long hours and should not have tried to make the trip. We had traveled sleep-deprived before and made the trip safely; however, this time was different. I awoke and immediately over-corrected in an effort to avoid rear-ending another SUV at seventy-seven (77) miles/per hour. I subsequently lost control and the truck rolled over. It happened so fast that I did not have time to really get scared. I had already accepted the fact that we might not make it. Miraculously, we lived to tell the story, emerging from my totaled SUV with only bumps, bruises and a little stiffness. I wasn’t happy about having to buy a new vehicle because I could see my freedom from car payments. My sister noticed that whenever someone complimented my new vehicle, I didn’t seem very excited about it. She called to my attention, that God had saved us for a reason, and had taken away my truck for a reason as well. She said, “Who knows, that truck may have been getting ready to break down on you and cost you a lot of money to get repaired. Be grateful that you have a decent job and are able to pay for the new one, because it is a blessing even though you don’t yet see it” That really made me think and caused me to change my perspective. Every time I think of that accident now, I have to thank God because the outcome could have been much different. Now that my Father is sick, I realize that as much as I don’t enjoy the experience, I am stronger and better equipped, emotionally and spiritually, to handle life’s challenges. I don’t fall apart at the sight of adversity like I once did, because the consistent elements in each of these situations and others have been my knowledge that there is no way that I could have made it through them on my own, and that it could not have been anyone else, but God. I am keenly aware of this because when I get out of His way and stop trying to fix things that are beyond me, He goes to work. I encourage you, too, to force yourself to think about the remaining good in your life, in spite of the bad at the moment. I’ll bet you will start to feel better. Another way that I deal stressful situations is to try to keep my focus off of my problems by helping others. Because I get such a great feeling from that, I can’t help but be at least a little optimistic and grateful for things being as good as they are…with the faith that they will get even better. Now you may have to do this several times during you time of trials and tribulation, but you will also notice that with each new toil and snare you will find a new strength that you did not know you had. Your positive outlook will rub off on others and help you to face the situation in a healthier place.
Go on, start seeing the glass half-full!
